What struck me the most when I first arrived was the extent to which Mallorcans defended their identity. They are very attached to their traditions, their culture, their language... They take immense care of it. Everything – the food, the landscapes, etc. – everything Mallorcan is better. If you're in a bar with a Mallorcan, he'll tell you that the frito mallorquín is the best frito in the world, that the pain payese is the best bread in the world, and that the coca de gato is the best dessert in the world. Many things are typical of the island, and for them it's inevitably better. Even Christopher Columbus would be a Mallorcan! It's a joke, of course, but it says a lot about their attachment to their land.
Yes, for them, Mallorca is the eighth wonder of the world. “Ruben” they joke, “look at a map of the world: Mallorca is in the centre.” The rest is just the periphery, with the foreigners, the giris, the forasteros, the Spaniards from the peninsula and the Catalans!
Mallorcans have always welcomed many people from abroad. They say, “everyone wants to come here. And why does everyone want to come here? .... Because there's no place like Mallorca!” Well, they're kind of right: we have a good climate, good food and good infrastructure. It's also a region that [has generally] suffered less from economic crises. The 2008 crisis, which had a profound effect on the peninsula, was not as noticeable here. That's because there's a lot of foreign capital here, which still maintains a relatively high level of employment and income.
I've performed all over Spain, and I've even slept at the home of the mayor of a town after a show, even though I hardly knew him. Unthinkable in Mallorca! Here, it takes time for people to open their doors to you. My partner, who is Mallorcan, found this hard to believe at first, but she eventually realised for herself. This is in stark contrast to other parts of Spain, where the welcome is more immediate. Here, trust is earned over time. But once Mallorcans open their doors, you become part of the family.
Mallorcans have grown up with mass tourism. For years they've seen people come and go, without ever forming lasting bonds. I have friends my own age who have lived in coastal areas with lots of tourism, and they tell me: ‘Rubén, I had different friends every summer. Why should I trust someone who's there in August and whom I'll never see again? Why should I?
The way they greet each other is unusual. If a Mallorcan can avoid saying hello, he'll do so. If they bump into someone they know, a friend, they'll change to the other side of the street so as not to say hello. At first I didn't understand, I was with my fiancée and I said, ‘Darling, there's our friend so-and-so’, and she'd say, ‘Come on, Ruben, come on’. I was amused and said, ‘wow, here friends bump into each other and avoid each other’. My fiancée explained, “Ruben, that's because we don't want to disturb each other!” To say goodbye, it's the other way round. A Mallorcan farewell is never over. It takes between 20 minutes and two-hours to say goodbye.
I play Monopoly with Mallorcans. They always beat me. You can't negotiate with them. They always wait for you to make an offer, without ever revealing their cards. A Mallorcan might put his house up for sale just to see what happens. Sometimes you think you've got a deal and they say, well, I want more, more money, more conditions, more whatever. In Monopoly it's the same thing. When I say, OK, for twenty thousand, they say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not for twenty thousand, for thirty thousand!
Yes, they're like that with everyone. Between themselves and even between members of the same family. There's a verb that's used a lot in Mallorcan: fotre. For a Mallorcan, fotre is sometimes more important than winning a deal. It's a way of testing the other person, to see how far they're prepared to go. There's a story about two brothers. They each have a floor in the same house. The brother upstairs says to the brother downstairs: ‘Please cut down your tree, it's in the way’. The brother downstairs replies: ‘I won't cut it down. Because for me, the most important thing is fotre. They went to court. The brother downstairs won the case. The next day, he cut down the tree...
They are a unique people, with their own traditions, customs and pride. It takes time to understand them, but once you've won their trust, you discover a rich and authentic culture.’
Queridas Mallorquines is live at Rivoli Comic on April 12th in Can Pastilla. Check Ruben's website for details.
